Elon Fucking Musk Says He'll Colonize Mars By 2022

The Independent — Elon Musk will colonise Mars within the next few years, he has said.

The SpaceX boss hopes his company can land at least two cargo ships on Mars by 2022. And humans will come just a couple of years after that, he said, ready to make use of the power and infrastructure that will be dropped by the autonomous craft.

They’ll be carried there by SpaceX rockets – the same ones that he hopes will carry people around the world in less than half an hour, potentially replacing plane travel.

So Musk injected himself into the news with a couple more outrageous claims. One, he’s going to colonize Mars or someshit by 2022. Two, this BFR thing that’s supposed to take you anywhere in the world in under an hour.

GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE. The Mars thing is crazy. We’ll get to that. But this BFR shit? Flying around on a god damn space rocket to get from NYC to Shanghai in 39 minutes? YEAH RIGHT. Best case, like 5% of the time you arrive in 39 minutes, 95% of the time you arrive in a closed casket.

You’re gonna hop on one of these for your 10AM business meeting in Dubai?

AND he says he’s going to colonize Mars by 5 years from now? Famous people-lover Kevin Clancy weighed in on Mr. Musk’s shenanigans this morning.

How about this flawless plan from Elon; straight out of Armageddon:

Mr Musk has previously suggested that he could detonate nuclear weapons on Mars to get its atmosphere ready for human habitation. But, at least at first, the people will live in specially created bases on the red planet.

Sees “The Martian” once…

Fuck Elon Musk. This guy is so full of shit. Dude’s basically a politician at this point: promises commercial space travel and other planetary colonization, actually delivers one airborne rocket out of five.

PS — Full disclosure my ex gf loved Musk so that may play into my dislike for him. It’s possible.